they're not even sure it's a baby

You know, I love David Lynch, and more than the next girl. I'm even fairly certain that I understand Inland Empire, which is almost verboten for the Lynch fan. But Eraserhead is not only not a movie to crochet to, but 27 minutes in and all I'm seeing is just weird ass shit. And it's weird enough to make me a vegetarian. It also makes me wonder where Lynch grew up. Twin Peaks is one thing, Inland Empire another, Dune even further off the Lynch track, but Eraserhead just makes me wonder. I am committed to it, though. It will be finished by tomorrow night.

What was the curse-d baby blanket...

I'd just like to say that in spite of my moans and groans, I do love this blanket. I love this blanket more than I could have ever expected. The bright colors, the insanity of all of these colors together, and knowing that my friends will appreciate it. There's an intense high with knowing that all of your effort, all of your cursing at ends that need to be secured, will be acknowledged and appreciated.

And now to finish seaming so that photographs can be taken this afternoon.

angst-y

I've just realized (and I mean like two minutes ago) that the reason I might be so angry with everything I'm making is because they are keeping me from making something for myself. Not that I'm some greedy bitch wanting to just make things for myself. It's that I've been in a mode for like four months where everything I make is for someone else. The last thing I made for myself was the Boteh scarf, and I can barely remember that joy.

However, the baby afghan will be done in a matter of 36 hours, and the beret will be done soon after, so maybe before Hat Attack begins I can make something for myself. Because I need something to make me feel special like only the stuff I've made makes me feel. I need a new bag. I need time.

And for some reason in this post-shock mode, only David Bowie, Sunset Rubdown, and Swan Lake make any sense to me. Not to mention that "Life on Mars?" is a damn brilliant song.

Last time I was this shocked and speechless was Elliott Smith's death. I want to write some perfect tribute to Heath because Heath was awesome, but not only did I not know him, but I'm just sort of unable to process it. Heath Ledger was meant to be someone who lasted and thrived. I just don't know what to say.

Here's what I can come up with to say: Holy mother of god.

Why, oh why, am I faster at double crochet than single crochet? I should be damn fast at both, but faster at the one that requires less yarn and flourishes of my hands.

Anyway, I started a sweater today.

Dear Producers,

I understand you want to keep money to yourselves. I understand that you think that actual talent is nothing compared to schmoozing and conning people out of money and getting people to do stuff. I understand that you think it's mildly amusing seeing all of those folks on the picket lines. However, you stepped on my toes and depressed my sister, so you all need to come to grips with yourselves.

1) Don't blame the writers for the shutdown. If you had been reasonable about digital media, you would not have caused the shutdown.

2) If I have to pay for a TV show on iTunes or have to watch an ad on your website to watch a show or a clip, aren't you making money? Why would you ever believe that only you (the ones not creating the product, not imagining the stories and words) get to reap the rewards?

3) You shot yourselves in the feet. (Look at that, verb conjugation with agreement!) Because my dears, I don't give a rat's ass about you, but I do give a rat's ass about the writers. My five favorite movies, I know the names of the writers, but I don't know your names. (Brazil by Terry Gilliam and Tom Stoppard and Charles McKeown, Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind by Charlie Kaufman, Amelie by Jean Paul Jeunet and Guillaume Laurant, Fight Club by Jim Uhls [book by Chuck Palaniuk], The New World by Terrence Malick, and Persuasion by Nick Dear [book by Jane Austen]). You will never get our sympathy.

4) You need award shows more than the writers, and you know it. And you are threatening my sister's happiest season now. Because you were silly, the Globes are gone, but you can save the Oscars.

5) I know you don't care about the little folks who don't live in Brentwood or Beverly Hills, however, who's going to print your checks for you now that one of your payroll companies has shut down? Who's going to feed you when the caterers have to find other jobs?

6) On what planet is the American public going to agree with you and not the folks who more closely relate to them? Union is union, kids, and they win.

Sincerely,

me.

The list of things I will ignore after a week...

No resolutions for the real world aspect of my life. However, there are real resolutions for yarn-related stuff.

Start gifts a month before they are due. Upcoming due dates:
1) Yoomin's wedding afghan due 10/2008, start by 8/08
2) Rick's baby blanket due 3/2008, start by 2/08
3) Melissa's baby blanket and Duncan's big brother blanket due 8/2008, start by 6/08
4) Mick's wedding afghan due 8/2008, start by 5/08
5) Christmas gifts started in 10/2008
6) Victory Junction blanket by 3/20/2008

Do not work on more than three things at once.

Do not buy skeins of less than 100 yards of material if not associated with a particular project.

Design an awesome beret.

Design an awesome scarf.

Make two sweaters for myself (one crocheted and one knit).

Create my own swatch-filled stitch dictionary.